Monster
by wisegirlgeek
Summary: "She remembers when his eyes were brown, her brown. Now they're bottomless pits of black, darkened with his soul." Leia Organa doesn't know her son. Kind of dark. Kylo/Ben and Leia mother/son relationship One-shot. Hints of Reylo.


She was there, the night he massacred almost every child in her brother's Jedi training academy. She had been watching, hiding in the shadows. She had wanted to surprise her son the next day with a visit. She hadn't seen him in months, long enough to start to forget his face.

Stupidly, she had parked her ship a fair distance away from the academy. She also had not had any fellow Resistance fighters with her, nor had she, in an even stupider move, taken her blaster with her. If a mother wasn't safe in presence of her son, where was she safe?

Nowhere, apparently. The second she had seen the light of a slashing lightsaber and heard screams in the night, she had started running. No kind of Jedi training should involve screaming and pain. That training was preferred only for the Sith…

Her eyes had widened as she realized that the lightsaber she saw was red, the preferred color of the Sith. Red was an angry crystal, unstable-often like it's master. **(AN-idk bout that)**. Her pace quickened. As she reached the building, she ducked behind a large pillar. Even in the face of danger, she would keep a calm head. Obviously, without a weapon and with no idea where the weapons were kept, it was not the best idea to attack the holder of the lightsaber. Heck, at this point of time, she didn't even know if he was a Sith.

But soon she did. Taking a cautious step in the darkness, she almost screamed when her boot-clad foot stepped on what felt like a human limb. Leaning down, not able to see in the light, she reached out a hand to touch the being under her.

Her hands shook as they traced the cold outline of a young girl's face, eyes closed as if sleeping. Her fingers traveled down the young girl's body, until they reached a sticky substance. She brought her fingers to her face. There was no mistaking the metal-like scent of blood.

This was a Sith. No Jedi could do this.

She took a determined step over the body of the girl, to where she could see a small glimpse of light. She might not be able to stop this offender, but she could find out who he was and bring justice later on.

With every single body she encountered on her short journey, she moved a little faster. She would stop this monster.

Step after step, she comes closer. She's panting in anticipation, but when she reaches the room where the Sith is currently killing, she freezes in shock.

Her son. It's her son, with his head of dark curly hair and dark mahogany eyes-eyes that, right now, are bright with bloodlust. It's her son who's facing her, who hasn't seen her yet, who's holding a blindingly bright red lightsaber above the head of a body buried in a blanket. It's her son who's dressed in robes of black, leather gloves on his hand. It's her son who's covered in blood, the blood of young Jedi, his classmates.

It shocks her, shocks her badly and she's barely breathing and she can feel her heart beating and all she can think about is being silent because her son is obviously under kind of some kind of spell because there is absolutely no way her sweet little baby boy would be doing this.

It's hard, and it tests her patience very badly when he swings his sword through a small Jedi boy who could barely be eight. Looking around, she hopes that there's nobody left for him to kill. _I'm a coward,_ she thinks. _I can't even face him, and he's killing people._ She's always been brave and resilient, but she can't gather her courage right now, when another innocent life is being lost every moment she stands here trying to catch her breath.

Decided, she takes a step forward. No-one will suffer anymore. One foot. Then another. Soon, she's standing barely five feet away from her son and her feet are glued to the ground behind a pillar hiding her from view.

Ben Solo is holding a lightsaber above the head of sleeping girl whom she had met before. It was Rey, an orphan who had been found with the Force. She hadn't seen the girl often, but she could recall Ben holding her and helping her hold a training lightsaber, directing her arm.

Yet she isn't stopped in action because of the girl. Unlike all the other children, her son looks like he is having second thoughts about killing her. She holds her breath, hoping that he still has enough light in him not to kill somebody who he so blatantly cares for.

Her hope is crushed as he brings the lightsaber a little higher, ready to strike down. He's taking a deep breath and she can feel her world crumbling. This was probably her fault… all the fights with Han… her son had never known love. It was her fault.

She wants to sob, she wants to save the girl, the only chance her son might have to come back to the light. But she can't, because she's too scared. She's a coward.

Right before the lightsaber connects with the young girl's neck, the girl turns over. She must have hit a tough spot on the bed, because suddenly she's opening sleep-filled eyes. Ben quickly takes the lightsaber away from her neck and slides it into his belt, one she hasn't seen before.

"Ben?" Rey asks, "Why are you here?"

Her son takes in a deep breath. "N- nothing. Rey… it's not safe here anymore. I have to take you away. How about you take a little nap? You look tired."

As the little girl nods and falls into slumber once more, her son takes her in his arms.

As she watches, he puts her tiny head on his shoulder. She can't help but think that maybe she should have had another child. Maybe that would have stopped this from happening.

"Snoke is going to kill me," he mutters. She has to hold back a gasp. So he has turned to the dark.

As her son strides out of the room, the small girl in his arms, she collapses to the floor, her head in her hands.

Leia Organa Solo is a coward.

* * *

 _15 years later_

The last thing she remembers is being knocked out cold by a Stormtrooper that had infiltrated her ship. She remembers the events before that too, although she wants to forget. She squeezes her eyes as the scene of her son killing his uncle in front of her dances in front of her eyes. She doesn't know her baby anymore.

She had been brave, and she had been lucky to escape with her life. Despite that, though, she wishes she had died. She has nothing left to fight for.

Three years ago, Finn and Poe-both whom she was close too-had been killed trying infiltrate a First Order ship. Rey had gone reckless after their deaths. She had been captured in an attack the year after.

Luckily for the no-longer-little girl, it turned out Ben Solo (Now known as Kylo Ren) still held a soft spot for her. According to Luke when he was alive, Rey was still very much alive. Although she knew her brother was telling the truth about that, she couldn't help but think he had been hiding something from her.

Rey had found Luke and had begun training under him- but it only lasted a few months. The girl never completely her Jedi training, although she wasn't bad with a lightsaber. Luke had told her that after spending some time trying to teach Rey, it had become clear that she shared many of the same characteristics as Kylo Ren. Her brother hadn't wanted to risk the possibility of Rey going over to the Dark Side.

After Finn, Poe, Rey, and Han were gone, she had turned to Luke, who was now gone.

She tried not to think about her husband and his death, and the cause of it. For whatever reason, she couldn't hate her son.

As she got up from the sleeping position she was lying in, she shook away her memories. She couldn't dwell on the past right now.

Struggling to collect herself together, she evaluated what she knew. The First Order had struck the Resistance Base. She had tried to escape. She had been captured. She would most likely be questioned or tortured for information soon. After that was done- well, best case scenario they would trade her for another prisoner. Worst case, and most probable scenario- she would be killed in cold blood.

She took a quick glance at her surroundings. Desk, chair, comfortable bed-

Wait, _what?_

This was most definitely not an interrogation chamber. As her eyes continued to trail around the room, she speculated somebody lived here. Checking her body for shackles and grinning when realizing she was free, she got up and stretched. She was about to stand up when the door in front of her suddenly opened. She stopped smiling and sat back down, looking at the hands spread out on her lap before daring to glance at who had entered the room.

Her eyes met a figure crouched on the ground below her, masked and hooded. She couldn't see who was behind the mask, but she knew who he was, and she knew he was looking at her.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, a mutual agreement to be silent made-until he stood up and spoke.

"This can be easy, or it can be hard. You can choose."

She wanted to sob. She wanted to cry and break down and act like a child. But she couldn't no matter how much she wanted to. Her son was talking to her, even if it was through a mask that grotesquely looked like her father's. She was hearing her son talk for the first time in almost fifteen years.

She managed to choke out an answer. "Who says I have a choice?"

His reply is cordial, straight to the point. He's acting like a heartless machine, but she can't help but believe that he's not. "I do."

"Take off that mask, Ben."

He does not move. "My name is Kylo Ren."

She repeats. "Take off the mask."

"You are not in charge of me-"

"Take off the damn mask!" she yells, and she's ashamed to feel tears creeping down her face.

He obeys.

She starts sobbing even more when she sees his face. Her baby boy has grown into a handsome young man. She drinks in every part of him. His hair is long and curly, now that it isn't shaved close to his skin. His face is well defined, a mix of both her and Han.

It's his eyes, though, that really make her cry. She remembers when his eyes were brown, her brown. Now they're bottomless pits of black, darkened with his soul. And they're emotionless right now. He's all business.

"Where are all the Resistance c-"

"I'm asking questions first."

"You're my prisoner."

"And I'm your mother."

"You were Ben Solo's mother. He was weak. He is gone."

She can barely see through her tears anymore. "What has happened to you?"

"Why can't you see? I was born for this!"

"You were born a Jedi!"

"The Jedi are fools! What can you gain out of suppressing emotion?"

"The Jedi were strong. They have defeated the Sith before."

"Because Darth Vader helped his son in the end- he showed emotion! Showing emotion is a Sith trait! The Jedi are weak in suppressing emotion. I need to feel all of it! Love, hate, it is all better than nothing!"

"So that is why you saved Rey."

He turns and looks at her, a spark of confusion in his eyes. "How do you know that?"

"I was there."

He nods.

"Where is Rey?"

"This is her room."

It took her some time to interpret what this meant. "What did you do to her?"

"I did nothing. She came to me of her own accord. Much like me, she thought that Luke wasn't teaching her to her full potential."

"You brainwashed her."

"No. She chose to come to me. I saved her because I loved her. Jedi's can't love. It is their weakness."

She changed topic, her voice breaking from the new information coming her way. "Why did you kill your father?"

The little emotion he had unleashed at the thought of Rey vanished. "Han Solo was not my father."

"Why did you kill him?"

"He was standing between my past and my future. He was a barrier. Killing him unleashed my full potential."

"He was your father."

"He was not my father," he growls. "He was Ben Solo's father. Both are now gone. Do not dwell on the past."

She's choking on tears. "What happened to you?"

He pauses, as if he doesn't know how to answer. But then he does. "You never knew the real me. I have not changed. Your views have."

"Ben-"

Before she can continue, he yells, eyes glaring at her. "MY NAME IS NOT BEN SOLO."

She opens her mouth to speak again, but her lips close when he turns around and takes his lightsaber off his belt. She has seen the unstable blade before twice-once in the Academy, the other when he killed her brother. Both times he had been killing. She hoped now that he would not turn the lightsaber on her.

The Force seemed to be with her. He ran the saber through the desk in the corner, cut the chair into pieces, and took out a few other pieces of furniture. Seeming even more angry that there was nothing more to destroy, he slashed his weapon against the wall, bringing a few blocks of concrete raining down on him that he deflected with the Force.

She watched, slightly in fascination. He still had the tantrums, like when he was younger-just on a larger scale.

When he's done, it only takes him a few seconds to realize what he's destroyed. She doesn't move as he takes deep breaths and speaks into a black box.

"Prepare a new room for the lady. I want it to be just like the old one," he says. She hears muffling on the other side of the machine, and then he puts it away. He seems deadlier than before.

"Listen," he breathes, and she's too scared to say anything. He seems less like Ben and more like Kylo Ren. "I am not Ben Solo. I am Kylo Ren. I am in charge right now. Do not forget that. I am not a forgiving person."

She doesn't doubt that.

Leia Organa Solo doesn't know where her little boy went, but he's been replaced by a monster.

* * *

 **Yes this is OOC. This is my first time venturing outside the Percy Jackson fandom. I've gotten obsessed with Kylo Ren recently, but I'm not very skilled in Star Wars terminology. I apologize if this seemed… off. I will probably stick to Percy Jackson and Harry Potter from now on.**

 **This is my first story in a long time. I apologize. I spent the end of summer with a concussion from playing beach volleyball, and then school started. I'm working on a bunch of one-shots which I will hopefully finish sometime soon.**

 **If any readers of my friend DRAKONOWL21195 are here, please READ! She has been unavailable for some time. If you need to talk to her, please PM me and I'll email her.**

 **Thank you for reading!**


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